A Long time ago, in a galaxy far far away. Our Grand Master, Jac Cotelin finds himself strapped to a table with a laser beam inching towards his groin.
Jac: Do you expect me to talk?
Tasavah Goldfinger: No Mr. Cotelin, I expect you to die.
In Celebration of my man-crush on the new James Bond, I have decided to host a James Bond spoof competition. Your mission if you chose to accept it (wait, wrong spy movie) is to place our esteemed Grand Master in a 3-5 page fiction spoofing James Bond. Entries will be graded on:
Most Elaborate way to kill Jac.
Best Jac hook-up with female enemy agent.
Best Dark Jedi Gadget from Q Branch (Muz).
Best scene including a shaken martini.
Best use of sexually suggestive words as a character name (Pussy "Halc" Galore).
Bonus points will be granted to those who write in a guest appearance by Cotelin's CIA counterpart Felix "Sarin" Leiter.
Send your entries to Jac and Sarin by 3 January 2007.
2nd level crescents are up for grabs.
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Best. Competition. Evar.
Worst. Main. Character. Ever. :P
I'd also like to point out that Jac is nothing, NOTHING, without a spellchecker. :P
Ahahaha...very nice.
Pussy "Halc" Galore...aaaahh...I'll never let him hear the end of this one. :P
Great competition, Sarin. ;)
Unless he was trying to say "Evar" like that Wil Farrel skit where he was the randy college professor. Eats goat meat and calls that chick lover, she always throws out his back?
...no?
So...who gets cast as M? Trev in drag? I think he could substitute for Dame Judy Dench. :P
Couldn't tell you, jive. I don't watch SNL.